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Anya Kaats's avatar

THANK YOU for this. Seriously. Brilliant insights. I haven’t seen either movie, but have felt extremely skeptical and put-off over the hype of Barbie, despite so many people trying to convince me otherwise. This was extremely refreshing and relateable.

Sydnee Galstaun's avatar

I also very much want for people to be conscious while watching these movies. I feel frustrated by the reaction at large to consume rather than contemplate (a reaction I find present in myself as well). I agree that change can only come from changed minds, and a shift in consciousness won’t happen unless people are indeed confronted by the realities of the world.

From my perspective, there seems to be a gap somewhere between being complacent and unthinking, becoming unblinded to the mollification of consumerism and entertainment, and actually being able to confront and accept this reality and our own responsibility. Yes, it is necessary for the bars of our cage to be pointed out to us (regardless of whether they are made out of amusement and pleasure or external oppressions), but I think there is already a knowing in all of us that the bars are there, and even a gentle reminder can be more than uncomfortable, it might be unbearable. This isn’t weakness or something to be ashamed of, we simply do not have the capacity to hold that reminder in the forefront of our minds alone.

I would like to add to this well crafted and thoughtful essay by acknowledging that the numbness, passivity, and even denial present in us are perhaps deserving of appreciation. Our psyches were not designed to contain such large scale and abstract griefs of the world. We are not suited for the intake and processing of a bombardment of constant catastrophe happening both in our immediate worlds and at a global level. On our own, we cannot confront this. Numbness becomes a sort of lifesaving process.

Our culture is not set up for the processing of grief in any effective way. Feeling these “negative” emotions of sorrow, outrage, and heartbreak is a hidden affair. We tend to only let these emotions surface when we are alone, hidden. And even then, they’ve likely taken us by surprise and surfaced on their own and the common reaction is to stuff them deep back down.

I have so much compassion for all of us who are numb. I hope for us all to not feel any shame in our responses. Don’t judge yourself if you go numb, but ask yourself… what do you need in order to turn into it rather than away?

We need the support of a village. Grief is communal. It is not meant to be a private affair. We need to collaborate together in creating holding spaces for grief and healing to emerge. Without this container, how could we even begin to be fully present with the reality of our own imprisonment and participation in consumerism, corporatism, and consumption?

What does this container look like? There is no one right way. I think it needs to be spontaneous, not prescribed. A present, raw response from which authentic communal grieving emerges, specific to the needs and feeling of any one place and the beings present.

I understand grief is often perceived as a negative experience, perhaps even unhelpful or something that just gets in our way or slows us down from ‘progress’ or ‘improvement.’ I might come off as a Debbie downer to some by suggesting it is absolutely imperative to establish a healthy relationship with sorrow. I invite you to consider a different perspective: to grieve is to be alive. It enhances vitality. Grief is not just tears. It is a door to a soul reawakened and to showing up. As Francis Weller has said, “grief is also outrage. It is protest. It is an adamant refusal to allow things to proceed as they are.” It is also a gateway to feeling again… deep joy, reverence, gratitude… to becoming more human again.

It is the broken heart that will be big enough to generate the courage necessary for making a difference. Let us find compassion and patience for ourselves and others as we enter into this period of cosmic inhale, darkness (not meant in a negative sense), decay, and unknown. “I don’t think we’re going to figure this out way out of this one. But I do think we can sit together quietly in the dark and become receptive to some new imagination… we must learn how to sit in the dark together and not heroically try to “figure it out,” but to become patient enough to listen to the dreaming earth. What if the earth is a dreaming creature? We need to slow down enough to practice that togetherness.”

I have so much love for you all.

Thank you Maren and Jake for your dedication to being present, feeling, and inviting us all to join in thinking critically about the world and culture at large. I am inspired again and again by you both and I appreciate the many opportunities offered to challenge my perspectives and process feelings stimulated by your work.

Hugs,

Sydnee

——

P.S. I feel compelled to offer this word of caution: processing grief is not just a step to take in some walk of ‘self-improvement’. It’s not some prerequisite to creating ‘solutions.’ More than an emotion, it is a faculty that we need to become skilled in and exercise throughout our journies. This is not a box to check and move on from.

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